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Teens working parents Original Source Link: (May no longer be active)
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Take time to support, listen to a teenager
04/24/03
M y son just turned 13. He's been involved in a program at our church called "Rite 13," which is designed to help young people in those transition years of adolescence from a Christian perspective, as well as to acknowledge this "growing into adulthood." We have some great young adult leaders in the program, and I believe it has been beneficial to my son.
Being a teenager is not easy. I have heard too many horror stories from other Christian teens to think that this is just some easy-go-lucky time for young people. Families separated by divorce, both parents working, peer pressure, pressure to succeed (or exceed) at school, drugs, sex, loss of close friends through accidents, or worse, suicide; all these things contribute to the huge pressure on our young people to just get through life today.
And it's not getting any easier. The current school funding crisis will put even more pressure on teenagers, and their choices are becoming more limited. If their parent or parents are working, and they're faced with additional days without school, what will these young people be doing? How will they spend that time? How will it affect their self-esteem? They may say, "I don't care if there's no school," but the reality is they are being told they aren't worth it.
Recent experiences have shown me that what these young people seem to need more than anything is a supportive community to turn to.
Many are turning away from their parents at this age, and the tendency seems to be to seek out "friends" who may or may not be good for them in the long run. But they need someone to confide in, and the choices are limited. Too many young people have stories of how they could appear happy and well-adjusted on the outside while secretly dying on the inside, and with no one they felt they could turn to for help. If school funding cuts take away counselors and other support people, the choices could become even fewer.
Fortunately there are a few wonderful young adults (and some older ones, too) who are sensitive to this problem, and are committed to being open and available to these young people as someone they can confide in. They are good listeners, non-judgmental, and give the teens a sense that they truly appreciate the depth of their problem, because many of them were in the same place not too many years ago. There are also some wonderful communities that are available for teens that also provide strong, positive peer support.
But the demand far exceeds the supply. There are too many teens hurting, needing support, needing a place to turn, and not enough places for them to go, or people to meet their needs.
And these young people are our future.
If we as a society continue down this path, we are doing a huge disservice to our young people. We seem concerned about the environment and taking care of it "for future generations," but what about taking care of those future generations? Who will be there for them when critical life questions and choices present themselves? Who will they turn to for advice?
We are their community. We are the people who need to support them. We are the people who need to hear their cries, even if they aren't crying aloud. If you come in contact with teenagers, talk to them. Hear what they have to say. Let them know you care about them. Let them know somebody cares.
You could be the difference between despair and hope for someone struggling with life, and wondering, "Who cares"?
The Rev. Roger J. Reynolds is deacon of St. Bartholomew's Episcopal Church,11265 S.W. Cabot St. in Beaverton. He can be reached at 503-644-3468, or by e-mail at unkleroger@aol.com.
Copyright 2003 Oregon Live. All Rights Reserved.
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